If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
