How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
