OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We have started to decorate penises.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
