Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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