she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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