the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have grass duct taped all over my body
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Pants are for mortals
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
