bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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