im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
