Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
