You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
