Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize