ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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