just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Mom said you looked used
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
