even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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