You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
