I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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