I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
