I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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