My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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