Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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