I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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