One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
