i think my tv is drunk
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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