yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm getting married
To pizza
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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