You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
