I'm really into asian looking animals
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
FUCK WHALES
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
