"it" just moved
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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