Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
