I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
