Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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