I'm really into asian looking animals
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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