Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
