Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
