Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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