I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
