She's JV to your varsity
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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