Sponge bath it is.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
