I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
