But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
