are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wanna passion pit in your ass
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
