I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
