I'm pants shitting drunk right now
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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