Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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