i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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