do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
