Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i am craving dick and cupcakes
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
