So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
