shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
