kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
