How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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