I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
