You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
