I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
