She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
