oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize