She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
