I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
