...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
