I am puke
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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