carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
