No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
