You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
