I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
