You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
